gratitude for health

[artwork done by and for by way of ney]
[skull drawing by Jesse Young]

It is always good to have reminders that put life in perspective. That seems to be the theme of my life this year. The most recent reminder is about contentment. Being content with who I am and what I have. I was talking to one of my best friends yesterday and we were discussing our physical bodies. Not our body image and what we think about how we look. Our conversation was focused more on what our bodies give us and where they let us down. It seems like it's been a long time since I felt rested, fully rested. 

(Sidebar: I have felt better in the last few months of doing Pilates multiple times a week than I have in a long time. I sleep better, and more importantly, wake better. I move better, and feel stronger in so many ways. Sure, my body is changing as well but the greatest part is the way I feel.) 

Anyway, she got me thinking about how good we really have it. We were laughing because she is pregnant and has been truly exhausted as the little life grows and develops inside of her. She said, "Now that I am going through this it makes me realize how really good I felt before." And I'm sure that's true of me. There are plenty of days when I think I feel slow to rise, slow to start, lagging during the middle of the day, and waiting for bedtime. 

I realize now how lucky I really am. Lucky to have this body. This body lets me work and play and do both hard, and well. It lets me play volleyball every Wednesday, soccer every Sunday and work hard through my Pilates program. It lets me run around and play with the little kids in my life, toss them in the air and laugh like crazy. It lets me walk off daily stresses by the beach and rest well through the night. It lets me love hard and feel much and supports my body, my mind and mostly my spirit. Without the gift that this body is, I wouldn't be able to live the life that I do, the one I feel called to live. 

This conversation with my best friend wasn't meant to be a deep or thought-provoking one. It was just a comment about realizing how good I've got it now while my body is working well and supporting all of me. One day, hopefully, my body will help me support and grow another life. For now, it's just me. 

I'm grateful for the perspective that she gave me in this short conversation. 

Grateful for the healthy body that I have. 

Grateful for the life I get to live.

No matter the state of our bodies, we've got to be grateful for what we've be given, no?

rainy (please) weekend

Early on in the week when I looked at the weather report it said there would be rain by this weekend. It is still looking like we'll finally get some on Saturday and I'm totally looking forward to it. Snuggled up inside, getting lots of things done with lots of time to do them. The last two weekends (here & here) were FILLED minute-by-minute with not a lot of time for reflection or inspiration. There is my list of desires for the weekend. 

1] make some valentines

2] finish up a few things around the house
(finally organize my desk, linen closet, and laundry room)

3] make a yummy and delicious pretzel treat

4] run lots of errands

5] clean the house

6] play in my soccer game
(I seriously can't wait for this one. I had to miss the game last weekend and I just want to go run around.)

7] type up the last of my Pilates lecture notes

8] take a bubble bath

9] watch a movie
(Iron Lady, Young Adult, The Descendants...so many to choose from)

I've also come up with some Valentines/LOVE related posts for the pre-V-day weeks that I think you're gonna love. Think, my love story, homemade Valentines, sweet treats for your sweetie, and more! 

Also, if you haven't already seen these seen the "sh*t ___ says" series of videos, you should watch them over the weekend. If you have already, you should watch them again. (laughs guaranteed)
This one cracks me up!

best of [road trip] 2012

Somehow I just got around to uploading the 'real' photos from our road trip.  We love our camera and I was so happy to find some great photos from all along our trip. I thought I'd share a few with you lovelies.

Best of Solvang: 

There was a sign in the dutch bakery we went in that read "Life is short...Eat cookies!" Don't mind if I do...

a mocha roll...

[for inquiring minds: sunnies: Anthropologie, blazer: J. Crew, bracelet: Forever 21, scalloped blouse: Forever]

and then Aebleskivers and coffee!

As if there were any decisions to be made...

Delicious puffs of dough...

that didn't last long or cost much.

Best of Santa Barbara: 

Sunshine and wine at Sunstone Vineyard...

My goofy and adorable man:

The gorgeous property:

Best of Morro Bay:

The Rock:

and the bay:

Sometimes your husband goes all paparazzi on you:

[for inquiring minds: earrings: World Market, sunnies: Anthro, necklace: Forever 21, chambray top: Madewell, Jeans: Target, boots: old]

So you decide to do handstands in the soft golden sand...

and things in up where they weren't supposed to!

 It was such a blast and I feel so blessed that we live so close to such beauty. (Oh and, I wanna go back...back to vacation.)

mlk jr.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

-Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

perspective granted

I've been following Matt Logelin and his amazing story for years and years now. I watched (via his blog) as this little baby girl...

turned into this precious little girl...

Each step of the way I've loved his story, his view on it, and the way he writes so honest and true about the good times and the pain. (His book was on this list and read on this vacation.) As Matt waited quietly and cautiously for Maddy to ask the hard questions about her mommy, where she was, and why, the rest of us trudged along. Last night, I went out to pick up some Thai food for us. While I was waiting I picked up my phone and went to his blog to read. I found the post below. I caught me off guard in a major way and put my life instantly back into perspective. I whipped tears away as I waited for my chicken satay and thought how good life really is and how lucky we are to have people we love in our lives. 

*If you are bothered by the f-word you might not want to read his blog. The post below contains a few of them itself but I think they are all justified. 

"questions.

they came today,

a torrent of them,

an attempt to

make sense of

your little world,

combining the things

we talk about

every day in an

(almost)

4 year

old’s level of comprehension.

while digging your

spoon into a bowl of

(what i learned from grandpa tom g. a few nights ago)

was your mom’s

favorite cereal.

“daddy, why did mommy want to buy this house?”

i was surprised. this

is not a question

you’ve asked before.

“she wanted you to have a yard to play in and she loved all of the trees and plants. especially the lemon and grapefruit trees.”

“oh. i love you, daddy. can i have some orange juice, please?”

then you asked

a bunch

of questions about

how grandmas can

also be moms.

then in the car…

“daddy, what did you and mommy do for fun?”

again, not a question

i’ve heard from

you before.

i told you about

our travels, our nights

with friends, everything

i could think

of before the next

question interrupted me…

“why was my mommy in the hospital?”

i told you

why she

was there, and how

her only care

in the world was

getting you

out safely.

as much as the

previous questions

took me by surprise,

the next one took

the wind out of me.

“daddy, did you hold my mommy’s hand when she died?”

fuck.

as i tried to

breath and to

figure out how

to answer that one

(how do i explain to you at this point in your life that i was rushed out of the room so the doctors and nurses could work on you mom, and that it was impossible for me to hold her hand until after she had already died?).

i started bawling,

impossible to hide

my tears from you.

i did my best

to explain it to you,

but what i said

will never take

away what happened that day.

i looked in

my mirror to see

you reaching for me.

i reached back for

you, my hand now

in yours,

you rubbing my hand

the way i rubbed your

mom’s

that day

(and many before it).

“daddy, i love you.”

you knew i

needed that.

“i love you too, maddy.”

sometimes i forget

how mature you are,

and how you understand

and comprehend more

than i think you do.

“you know, you can ask me anything about your mommy, and you can talk about her anytime, right?”

“yeah. daddy. i know.”

and as i worried

about how i’d fucked up

your day by crying

you said,

“daddy. oliver is not on my imagination team anymore.”

and i just laughed.

“it’s not funny, daddy!”

you yelled back at me.

and no, it’s not,

but it was.

and i’m sorry i didn’t

ask why he was

no longer on your team,

or what the fuck

an imagination team

actually is."